Today I was feeling very down... depressed, sad, pissed off at the world in general and myself in particular... For no particular reason really - just a mood swing... Or may be there was a reason... But its lost somewhere in the quagmire of a sad and depressed evening that is now a part of the ever bloating past... Not that this was the first time - I have felt such downs before. The sine wave of life is full of them...
So I was in the grips of a very depressing mood swing. Even when I left office on time (not a regularly afforded luxury, I assure you), I steered clear of the office bus. Instead, I chose to walk 30 minutes to the Railway station. Maybe a walk would sooth my nerves? To help me cheer myself up, I plugged in the earphones and listened to some cheering music. But all of this to no avail. The free body massage, exercise and steam bath afforded by the rush in the trains did not help either. As I alighted at my destination, I decided to take a longer route home.
On the way, along this longer route lies a temple. For some reason that I am not very sure about, my steps took me into it. Some days its pretty crowded there. Today was not one of those day. Thankfully. I don't understand how anyone can feel one with God in all those crowded famous temples? I prefer quiet and seclusion when cribbing to God.
I went in. Stood there in front of the Goddess. Closed my eyes. And for a while I was lost to the world... I did not spill out my woes. I started to state my demands and requests, but those thoughts soon trailed off... For a while I just stood there, eyes closed, thoughts lost, attention fully concentrated on the sudden nothingness within my head.
Suddenly peace descended upon the turmoil-ridden landscape of my mind. I am not a very religious person. I hardly ever visit temples - only when I usually have something to ask of God - not otherwise... And here I was, standing in the temple - arrived there for no particular reason - and I think I had found what I was subconsciously seeking - some Peace of Mind...
Even when I visit the temple on those rare occasions, I hardly ever sit for more than a minute. Today I sat in a corner for nearly 5 full minutes. 5 minutes of blessed peace and quiet. But soon it was time to leave. Harsh realities of life were waiting outside. Already I was beginning to feel the uneasy intrusion of tense thoughts. The shadow of my former dark mood was lurking somewhere nearby.
So I got up and went to the shoe rack. As I was getting my shoes, I heard it... "Meow". It was a cat. Standing nearby. It looked up at me. "Meow" it said. What it meant I did not understand. "Kay re kay pahije tula?" I asked. What I meant, it did not understand. For it did a feeble meow-ing sound and turned its attention to something on it's left. I bent down and patted it on its head.
Now its attention was drawn back to me again. It did another couple of meows and head-butted my open palm. I scratched it behind its ear. It seemed to like that, for it just stood there contentedly enjoying my ministrations. Then it turned its head a little more, to get me to scratch a bit lower. After a while, it turned its face the other way, indicating that I should scratch it on the other side too. I obliged.
I haven't known cats to be so forthcoming and docile as this one was, not in their first encounter with a stranger. But bent as I was, my back was beginning to ache. So I stood up, and moved to the nearby bench to wear my socks.
The cat meow-ed for a while, looking at me. Then it came towards me. It brushed first its head, and then the side of its body against my leg... Then it did something I never expected. Imagine my surprise, when the cat jumped up, first onto the bench, and then straight onto my lap! No doubts, its dirty paws would leave dusty impressions on my trousers. But at that moment, I did not care. I petted it, and it enjoyed my attentions.
All this while, the serpentine tense thoughts and the shadow of the dark mood that had begun to creep back upon my mind was completely forgotten. I was once again at peace with myself. The worries of the world lost to the winds...
Life is a coal mine. And hope, peace, happiness are the diamonds. We are always digging for these diamonds, hardly ever getting them... And sometimes they just pop out in front of us in places we least expect them to be... This was how I found my little unexpected diamond of peace.
I petted the cat for awhile. But the spell was soon broken by the incessant buzzing of my cellphone. That's what drove the cat away.
I cut it off, but by then the cat had jumped down the bench. I called it, but it had found something more interesting in a speck of dust on the ground... So it ignored me...
So I left it to its feline tasks, wore my shoes, and left the temple with a new-found peace of mind.
Not long after, my cellphone buzzed again. It was a well-wisher. He talked. I listened. For nearly an hour... By the time we were done, my little Diamond was lost... Good bye Peace of Mind... Welcome back, Harsh Reality...
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