Why didn't it happen to me??

Today, on my way to the office:

I am standing near second seat on the left side row of the bus – the one behind the first single-seat.

Right next to me on the non-window part of the double seat, a guy is sitting.

A flock of ladies is crowding the exit just ahead of me…

The bus is waiting at the signal.

The signal goes green. And the bus lurches ahead with a massive jerk.

One lady looses her balance and falls smack on the lap of the guy sitting on the seat near me.

The Lucky B@$t@rd...

The lady quickly gets up. I look at the guy. He is in a daze.

It looks like he was having a nice snooze. And is not aware what just happened

The poor unlucky fellow…

He looks at the lady with a NON-expression. By “non-expression” I mean it’s difficult to decipher what’s going on in his head. Is he secretly happy at what just happened? Is he sad she got up so quickly? Is he angry she woke him up? Is he constipated?? Is he even alive????

The Mute Stupid Dumb fellow!

She looks at him and sweetly says “Sorry…”

He just looks on – no change in the expression. No. Wait… Maybe he just looks a little bit angry… Angry???

The Smug Idiot!

How I wish I was in his place. I would have told her it’s all right. I didn’t mind it at all. In fact she was most welcome to try it again a few more times…

Poor Unlucky Me… :-(


Got the following comments from friends (quoting from memory - not word for word):

- Ruvi says: "Don't worry! Next time some girl will fall in your lap. And she will be someone like a heavy-weight champion... [on being asked why he was being an Ill-wishing "non"friend, he clarifies:] Be careful what you wish for, for you might get it, but in ways you never expected... Just like for example: Client wants something, so they ask us to develop it. And we develop it and give them application full of bugs..."

- Surjeet says: "See, even God is telling you. Go get an Official partner for yourself soon. Stop looking out for free material..."

- Eldorado says: "Luck only come to those who don't appreciate it... at least that's what I have seen"

- Warrior says: "probably she guessed your intentions, that's why she fell on that other guy ;)"
- - Ruvi replies: "yes agree and most probably she would have seen his inner feeling and face, something like this - [followed by pic of a dog with his huge tongue hanging out]"
- - Jayesh replies: "Jo bhi hota hai ache ke liye hota hai boss (whatever happens, happens for the best). Think what if she had got ur bones broken after her fall. or vise versa..."
- - - Eldorado replies: "Or even worse, sued you for taking advantage of her?"

Do Humans Dream of Electronic Sheep?

The other day, me and my friend were at the Mall. It was a weekend, and we both had nothing better to do. And now-a-days a Mall is the most obvious place for young people to hang out.

As usual, the Mall was over-crowded. And as we strolled around, my friend suggested we visit one of those big Electronics stores. Unlike me, my friend just adores electronic gadgets. Soon he was lost in his gadget-lust and conveniently forgot that he had a non-electronic friend too...

So I left him to drool and ogle and just strolled around observing gadgets, price tags and people. (What else was there to see?)

The first and most obvious thing I observed were the long queues of people waiting at the check-out counters. My parents never visit the Mall. And a good thing too, because if they visit here, they would be shocked to see so many people spend so much money on (according to them) useless electronic trinkets of luxury. In their time, saving was earning, and one only bought electronic items once a decade or so... But things have changed I guess...

As I passed the TV section, I overheard a family discussing which TV should they get for the Kids' bedroom and which one for their own. No wonder they now call them "personal" electronics. In my parents' time, it used to be "family" electronics. One TV to rule them all, one Radio to entertain them, one Fridge to keep them cool, and as a family bind them...
I approached a section of what looked like household gadgets - Vacuum Cleaners, Shavers, etc. While I was looking at a Vacuum Cleaner that looked like a miniature model of a futuristic car, I overheard a couple talking right across from me on the other side of the display rack.

Guy asks the girl - "What are you looking for?"
Girl: says something that sounded to me like a cross between "epileptic" and "alligator".

I did not mean to intrude or eavesdrop, but curiosity got the better of me. So, pretending to look on casually, I moved round the rack until I was nearly besides them. They were looking at what looked like a very fancy shaving machine cum miniature lawn-mower... The box called it an "Epilator".

Guy: "What, you gonna spend 4000 on a shaving machine?"
Gal: "It's not a shaving machine. It does not trim hair, it pulls them out."
Guy: "Ouch! You are one crazy masochist."
Gal: "Shut up and please go get someone to demo some of these to me?"

The guy stepped away to look out for a sales person and I moved on to the next display rack...

Near by, I saw a kid doing crazy gestures at the wall. He would move his arm this way and that in the air. Like he was doing some magic trick or something. Sometimes he would hop. Sometimes he would grab at the air in front of him like he was trying to catch a fly. Every now and again he would bend this way and that. All the while he kept his eyes on the wall in front of him. It looked very funny. I thought he was daft or something, doing all those crazy antics in front of everyone...

But when I stepped closer, I realized he was just playing a demo game on the new Play Station which uses motion detectors instead of your traditional joystick... Wow!

My friend was still busy ogling at and drooling over iPads. I let him continue his electronic wet-dream...

I roamed the shop until I came back to the checkout counters. The guy and the gal had just bought the epilator and were about to move out. I heard the Girl say "See, I saved 2000 Rs!"
Guy: "What!? You just spent 2000 Rs on that shaving machine!"
Gal: "I expected it to cost around 4000 Rs. But we got this one for just 2000 Rs. See? I saved the remaining 2k... And its not a shaving machine, silly. The name's epilator"

I watched with amusement as they walked out of the shop and wondered what my parents and their generation would think about the girl's idea about Saving Money!

After the U.S.A., we have the N.S.I. - the Numerous States of India

Aaargh!!! It has happened again!

I feel sad for the kids in school nowadays.

I remember my school days. Geography!!! One of my nightmare subjects... How many nights had I spent mugging up all those little nuggets of information about places and their names. How many bottles of "Shankhapushpi" (memory medicine :-P) my mother fed me so that my poor little brain would retain all that chunk of information - at least until the exams.
- Remember the 25 states of India.
- Remember their capitals.
- Don't relocate one capital to another state.
- Remember their locations on the Map...
It was too much for my little pea-brain...
I managed to scrape through somehow...

And as if 25 states were not enough, 3 new ones were added to the list!!! But by that time I had already passed out and cramming up about those new states was another kid's problem, not mine...

But wasn't 28 states enough? Today, we come to know that the state of U.P. (Uttar Pradesh) will soon be split up into 4 new states...

I feel sad for the kids who will appear for Geography exam in the coming future... 31 states, their 31 capitals and only 1 little brain to retain all that piece of information - "Badi na-insaafi hai re!" ("Big injustice, dude!")

And of course, who knows there might be even more mitotic or meiotic divisions of the existing states in the coming future (remember the ongoing telangana and vidarbha issues to name a few possible candidates)? And so, even more number of states may appear on the border-lines-riddled map of India...
And while remembering all the states and their capitals, the future Indian kids may possibly forget the age old adage "United we stand. Divided we fall"... ???

My Childhood Toy Shop

Today I happened to pass the Toy Store - the one I used to visit when I was a kid. And I suddenly remembered the old times.

The first thing I remember is my heart beat suddenly rising with anticipation as I would approach the shop. There would be scores of toys piled up inside as well as displayed at the entrance. It was a kid's toy-dream world... The shop-keeper would smile at me. I was a privileged customer. I am sure he did not miss the fact that my eyes had gone round like saucers as I drooled over the sight of all those G.I.Joes and their vehicles, the cool plastic toy guns, He-man and his mates, all displayed in there. And then the smiling devil would tempt me with all the most expensive toys (he knew I loved G.I.Joes, I was a regular with him) - much to the consternation of my parents.

Things have changed now. As I pass by the shop, my breath no longer catches and my heart no longer goes dhak-dhak... The smiling-devil shop-keeper is standing in there. He catches my eye, but he does not smile. Of course he would not recognize me any more. Its been too long and I have changed quite a lot (the price we all pay for growing up)... I try to spot my favourite G.IJoes. But they are no where to be seen... Neither are the awesome big toy-guns or he-man or the local board games like "Nava Vepari" (indian version of Monopoly) or the local-made cricket bats with no labels on them... Instead there are some standard board games, branded cricket gear, really funny looking toy figurines (BenTen? Transformers??) and lots and lots of Computer and PSP game CDs... Hmmm, things have changed quite a lot in the Toy-world...

Law(lessness) and (dis)Order

It was in the newspapers the other day. A horrible and sad story about a minor girl who was kidnapped, held hostage in Goa and later raped. But the most astounding fact was that, just a few days before the kidnapping, the girl had lodged a complaint of harassment against the perpetrators, with the police - and the police allegedly did not take any action at that time.

The story sound most outrageous because the police failed to act in time...
So what is the problem with our police force? Why are they not protecting us innocent citizens? Why do they just stand by while rising crime rate threatens to rip our society apart? Are they lazy? Are they incompetent? Don't they care?

Actually this is an extremely complex problem whose roots, as per my viewpoint, may go as deep as the fact that we, as a species on the whole, and as a society in particular, are loosing the attribute of moral strength under the stress of every day living - hence the rising crime rate...

But lets not get into such deep philosophy...

Instead, to dissect the problem at a very superficial level, lets start with one basic problem - our watch-dog lacks the necessary sharp fangs. And hence they can't bite down the criminals. If your watch-dog is not fierce enough, is it going to protect your home against thieves?

Now why would one have a watch-dog with not-sharp-enough fangs? To answer this, lets contemplate another question - If your dog has razor-sharp teeth and the first thing it bites is your tender back-side, how would you feel?

Here is a scenario. You are a cop. Your team manages to nab and bring in a few suspects.
But they are soon let out on bail by the court.
Or even more likely, you get a call from your reporting officer ordering you to let the suspects go ("Don't you know who they are? They are related to Mr Famous Politician or Ms Rich Industrialist..."). All your efforts and risks go down the drain as the criminals walk out having the last laugh.
Or the defense lawyers bash you out due to lack of enough evidence...

So, our law-enforcement has it's hands bound by the laws - the very same laws which are supposed to exist in order to protect us and give us justice.

I always wondered why our justice system is so complex, until I placed myself on the stand as a falsely-accused defendant. And then I realized that this so very complex judicial system was in place not just to punish the criminals but to ensure that no injustice is done to an innocent man...

So our system is complex; and our laws are all loop-hole-ridden. And apparently they are made that way with the best of intentions? But why is it that most of the times, the common man does not benefit from them? Instead the greedy and the unscrupulous land up exploiting the loop-holes in our system for their own petty gains...?

So our judiciary system is too complex and our law-enforcement watch-dog lacks the nasty bite... So what does that leave us with to protect ourselves and our near and dear ones?

I remember watching the movie Gangajal (It was supposed to be based on some real life incident). The movie did convince me that taking the law in our own hands is not necessarily a good thing. But somewhere in the middle of the film, when the citizens turn vigilante, it does look like the criminal-minded would think twice before indulging in unlawful activities.

If your watch-dog does not know how to bite, then should you be doing the biting instead?
If your home and your family are in danger, then won't you??

Engineer Blunder - Part 2

This is a continuation of my yesterday's post Engineer Blunder

Today, it happened again.

The same man from 6th floor gets into the lift along with me.

As usual, the slow but steady pace of the lift is rudely interrupted at the 4th floor.

The elevator door takes its own sweet time to open up. And then it stands open patiently waiting for someone to get in or get out...

This time, unlike yesterday, there are two people standing outside the lift. And they are busy talking to each other - so much so that they don't even give a glance at the openly inviting belly of the elevator... An elevator door can be an exasperatingly patient piece of machinery, but even that looses its patience at the uncaring duo standing outside and begins to slowly crawl shut...

And then one of the guys suddenly snaps out of their chat-world... He cries out "Arre wait wait..." and shoves his hand against the oh-so-slowly closing elevator door... How I wish the elevator door had shunned its hard-wired obedience just this once and clammed shut on the idiot's hand... But the damned obedient door heeds to his command and begins to open up again... as slow as ever :-(

And as we impatiently wait for the elevator door to fully open up, wait out it's halt-span, sluggishly crawl shut and finally continue it journey further, I point out to the man outside that its headed up, not down. The enlightened fellow smiles and says "Oh? its going up? Sorry..." And with that little pathetic apology he turns his back to an irritated and fuming group of passengers.

As the door finally crawls shut, the 6th floor fellow blurts out... "What sorry...!?? This is their everyday drama... These engineers...! Can't even understand - if you want to go down, press the 'down' button, not the 'up' one... They are engineers. Can't they even understand such a simple thing???"

As I step out on the 5th floor, I wonder with amusement what this guy dislikes more - engineers or unnecessary lift stoppages at Floor #4?

Engineer Blunder

It was afternoon. Lunch time. 4 people got into the lift at ground floor. One of them was me (big surprise, there :-P). Two others were my colleagues. We work in a software company located on the 5th floor of the building. The fourth person who got in, was headed for the 6th floor

The lift ascended and ascended, until it jarred to a gentle halt at the 4th floor. The door opened. We peered out. No one got out, of course. But then, no one got in either. No one was even standing outside the door of the lift. Then why had the lift halted at the 4th floor? Obviously, because some idiot had pressed the button for the lift and had then conveniently disappeared into thin air. This is a very usual happening on this floor. It is not really scary or disconcerting or anything. But it sure as hell is irritating (because - one is always eager and in a hurry to reach that god-forsaken hell-hole of a place we all so hate and try to avoid, a.k.a "the office").

As the lift door begins to close, the communal irritation erupts.

Colleague #1: "This always happens at this floor. Almost every day, they press the elevator button..."

Colleague #2: "Yes... even if the don't want to get in... What the heck, they enjoy it or something?"

Me: "Yes... they like pressing..." (double meaning definitely intended)

The 4th guy pitches in and says: "They are engineers..."

We all stop speaking... What does he mean by that?

"They are engineers (referring to the fact that the company on the 4th floor is a Technology firm). And yet they don't understand!?? How many times to tell them... the motor will eat up more energy every time you make it stop unnecessarily during the ascent or the descent... They just know how to press the button..."

By this time the lift had reached the 5th floor and the three of us tumbled out smiling to ourselves...

This guy definitely had a thing against engineers... So he vented out his vexation, hardly aware that he was doing so, standing in the midst of 3 engineers... :-P

India's hidden tourism potential

This happened yesterday.

After a short post-lunch stroll, I was waiting for the lift to take me to my office located on the 5th floor. As the lift arrived, 4 Japanese guys got on into the lift along with me. They were probably on their way to this Japanese company located on the 6th floor. While I contemplated my upcoming fight against post-lunch stupor, I noticed that the Japanese Quartet were a pretty silent lot - at least until the lift reached the 4th floor.

The lift stopped, the door opened and we peered out into the reception area of the company on that floor. The panoramic view that greeted us consisted of a receptionist, a pot-bellied guy waiting for the lift to come back down and an ATM machine.

Yes, an ATM machine, the same one that spits out money if you feed it your bank card...

The first time I had seen the ATM machine in the reception area of that company, I was so surprised, I thought - "What an awesome company, man! They have installed an ATM for their employees right in their own reception!?"

It was only later that I came to know that this company is actually well-known for providing ATM technology and services - and that the ATM machine was probably an Advertisement prop. I will not directly name the company - suffice it to say that it's name sounds somewhat like the name of some Bond movie or a Bruce Willis action flick.

Anyways, as the door of the lift began to close, the four Japs who had been peering out wide-eyed suddenly started chatting animatedly in Japanese to each other. I was almost sure they were talking about the presence of the ATM machine. But then one of the guys gestured with his hands in front of his stomach and that was when I realized that it was not the ATM machine that had so attracted the attention of our 4 japanese protagonists. Neither was it the secretary. It was the pot-belly of the waiting man...

That's when I realized that India has such a great tourism potential - walking-talking huge-numbered potential tourist attractions!!! We should utilize this potential! Indian Tourism should promote it! Now that's what I call - Incredible India!!

The Fancy Coffee Machine

In my new office, we have a fancy coffee machine.

It boasts a number of options for the weary employee suffering from work-sickness. Options include "NesCafe", "Nestea", "Lemon Tea", "Cappuccino", etc...

Yesterday I had tea. It was OK (a bit less sweet for my taste)

The day before that I had Nescafe. It was pretty good.

I think the coffee tasted good, because this machine uses fresh milk instead of the powdered one used in many other offices (including my previous one).

Today I decided to be a bit more adventurous.

It was afternoon. The food had begun to settle down inside my tummy. The eye-lids were beginning to rediscover gravity - once again. I was fighting a loosing battle against the mighty post-lunch stupor...

So I went to get some Coffee. Instead of the regular Tea or Coffee, the glutton in me directed my finger to press the "Lemon Tea" option. There was the gush and the woosh as the machine spewed out its innards into my cup.

I looked at the contents of my cup. This did not look like Lemon Tea. It was a frothing mosaic of white and brown. I went ahead and had a sip. And my sweet-tooth was highly disappointed – so much so that it ordered my head to start aching. It tasted somewhat bitter - like those exotic forms of coffee I so detest – the ones people call cappuccino or something...

Not one to waste edible stuff though, with supreme effort, I managed to finish it all off…

I had gone to get refreshments, and instead had to settle for a headache...

Democracy, the common good, and what is right?

Yesterday I heard someone say "We live in a Democracy. And the advantage of Democracy is that, if one person is against something, and the rest of the 99% are in favour of it, and if they (the 99%) vote in that favour, then the 99% majority get their way, even if that one person was right."

Hmmm, interesting. Democracy takes into consideration the viewpoint of all. The fact that the 99% who voted in favour of something might be wrong is irrelevant.

Assuming that what I have quoted above is true (I am too lazy to actually look up the facts :-P), then first off, shouldn't we be asking the question - how can 99% of the people vote against what is right? We are humans. We can think. We have a conscience you know. How can such a thing be possible?

Well, why not? We are a greedy species. Sure we humans have love, intelligence, imagination, even wisdom. But from what I have seen of the world, the most prominent of human traits is greed. It is what our economic and capitalistic system is based on.

So, if the wrong is going to profit the 99% people, then why won't they vote against what is right?

Now another question arises. How can something that profits the majority of the people be wrong? But this question can only be answered if we first define what do we mean by "wrong". Now that's where it all gets confusing (for me, at least).

Everyday experience teaches us that in most cases, there is no right or wrong. No black or white. Only shades of grey. The line that separates the right from the wrong is, in most cases, thin and hazy. Moreover our thoughts and views are usually adulterated by prejudice and selfishness. One cannot decide about most things being right or wrong based on the known facts. Because there are other facts unknown to us. And we cannot always comprehend the bigger picture.

But aren't there some things which we know are right or wrong? I mean, what about that little feeble voice always nagging at the back of our hearts and minds, telling us that this is right or that is wrong? The voice of our conscience. What about that. Is it not true that sometimes (actually, most of the times) we ignore this little voice of conscience because what that voice is suggesting is not in our best interest? Listening to our conscience can sometimes be "unprofitable", sometimes "counter-productive" and sometimes, just plain inconvenient.

In this modern world, our decisions are ruled by our greed and convenience rather than our morals and our conscience. In such a case, it certainly can be possible that something that profits the majority of the people may be wrong, right?

So is Democracy a failure in this regard? Or are we Humans the true failure? Our intelligence has certainly evolved. But can we claim the same about our morals...?